I know that yesterday's post was a little heavy so to keep in theme I will tell you about another matter of imminent importance. I will be addressing a problem that can be a little close to home for some people, particularly if they find themselves living near the water, and I know it can be upsetting. Bear with me.
The trouble I will be discussing today is Geese. Ducks and Geese.These menaces are crowding up the island and pooping up a storm. Since we've moved into my new house located on a river, they have caused my father SUCH. GRIEF. that he has gone to great lengths to assuage the problem to no avail.
Here is a list of methods he has tried:
- Slingshots
- Firecrackers
- Bottle Rockets
- Fake Fox
- Reflective Tape
- Pellet Gun
- Remote Control Airplane
- Motion Activated Sprinkler Heads
This man was a New York City Homicide Detective straight through the eighties, and these geese may just be the biggest challenge he's faced in his life.
Some readers may wonder, "What's the big deal? It's their planet too!" to which I do have sympathy; however, as my dad puts it "You give these damn suckers an inch and they take a mile!" They poop all over the lawn, and they eat all of the grass seed. First world problems, etc...
(Although truth be told, I don't always chase them. There is one goose who is ostracized from all the other geese. I've heard that geese mate for life- maybe he lost his mate? Maybe he is the black sheep goose of the flock? ...Don't tell Dad.)
Anyway if anyone has a good suggestion for solving this problem, please let me know. We don't want to kill them, we just want them off our lawn.
Here is a picture of the Duck Mob after a hit and run attack on our frontline fox. I know my finger is in the way, but the proof is too solid to not show you.
This is gold.
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