You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on.

This next post has been inspired by a text-message sent to me today by my former roommate in which she informed me that she has read my blog. This one goes out to you, Mary!!!


I lose things. I lose things all of the time. Small things that it makes sense to lose (like earrings), big things that it doesn't make sense to loose (pairs of pants), important things (passport, license, school id card), things I use every day (retainer, cellphone), things that would probably stay in the same spot for most people (Have you seen that pink lamp? The one with the clear glass base?)...

This quality of mine is not something that I am proud of, but it is a part of myself that I have come to terms with and am at ease with. If I were to worry over every time I lose something I would be frantic all of the time. It has taught me to minimize my attachment to material things and learn how to live without them. (Does anyone want any lessons on how to spend a semester at Smith without a card for the dining halls?)

I know it is a luxury of my privilege to feel somewhat minimal consequence when it comes to this trait, though in many circumstance it has gotten me into very deep trouble.

The main reason I think I lose things is because my mind is not very centered- I am always all over the place. My mom constantly tells me I need to be more in the moment, but that is way more easily said than done. I want to be able to concentrate on exactly where I place my keys, but when my emotions are harried and my thoughts are zipping around, focus doesn't even seem like an option. When my life is in chaos, my mind is in chaos, and I have to wait until everything settles down before I can find what it is I have lost.

For instance in May, I lost my retainer (...again. This time not under Mary's side table. What a good roommate, though, she mailed it to me!! ). I looked high and low for it, and I finally decided to do without it for a while. Now, in July, I decided to look for it again. I walked over to the cup I keep it in every single night-- since May I have looked there a million times-- and there it was. Sitting right there.

I know this sounds incredibly crazy, trust me, but the thing is when my life is crazy I am incapable of seeing past whatever it is that's distracting me. My life is forced to stay cluttered until my mind is refreshed enough to find order.

This is something I am actively trying to work on. I know that meditation will help- one day I'd like to make it part of a daily routine. But what if in the calm of my mind I am sad? Or a super-villain? I guess I will just have to see.

ANYWAY. Losing things is what I do.

Here is a picture of an envelope Mary made me so that I could lose things less!! 

Well I was going to post a picture of an envelope Mary made me so that I could lose things less except, well.... I lost it.

Blogging is like cleaning my room, but not.

Today I am cleaning my room.

(And blogging, and watching the Cosby Show, and continuing on my new quest to become an awesome embroiderer.) 

But mainly I am cleaning my room.  I have my pandora radio set on a Steve Miller Band station,  I put an extra tea bag in my tea, and I'm ready to go. 

This is a task I have been putting off for a long time, and to be honest, the thought of it has given me some anxiety. Its not because my room is so utterly messy that I don't know where to start. Its just that room cleaning is not only physically draining- it is emotionally draining too.

Everything I have holds a different memory. Most of them are wonderful happy stories. All of them leave me reflective about where I am right now and where I have been. My old diaries filled with heartwarming (and evidently highly important and top secret) nonsense; pictures of quality shenanigans and adventures; expired love notes. They make me love and long for the past like an old friend. 

To me cleaning my room is not just a chore, its a time to take stock of the things that have caused me to collect all of this crap!! 

I have chosen a selection of some really good memories to share with you. Take a look for yourself! 

Tickets that I was supposed to sell or at least return to be sold for the production of Bye Bye Birdie I stage managed for in 2006. I guess I missed the boat on that task! 

My room key for the Atlantis Resort and Spa on Paradise Island in the Bahamas!! My parents took my brother and me there back in 1999, and it was definitely a memorable trip. Will and I made friends with a girl from South Africa, I accidentally (and clumsily) sabotaged someone in a hula-hooping competition, and we essentially spent a straight week floating down the lazy river and going on water slides. We were lucky kids.

Heh-- this is my first fake ID given to me by a friend at college (whose identity I have chosen to protect by flipping this card over). The first drink I bought with it? PBR!! Rookie move, I know, but appropriate for a hipster town like Northampton, I think.

My coaster collection-- whenever I'm out somewhere having a great time, I try to remember to save a coaster and label it just as a cheap little momento. The coasters in the picture are from:

-The night of my cousin Kelly's wedding 

-Dinner with my family in Disney 

-Jack's Bar in Montana from my friend Mary's wedding 

-Trivia night in the city with one of my friends from college 

-Drinks with a friend after DOMA was struck down

A Norwegian Krone given to me by a random customer at Stop & Shop. The coin is really pretty and very awesome! It was such a nice way to brighten my day. I feel like it must be magic. I'll keep you posted on any developments. 

Well there you have it! I should probably pick up with where I left off picking things up now, I am sure there are 1,000 more memories waiting to be dusted off.

Cheers!